On 1 November 2019, I saw my first Christmas TV advert. Really people? Can someone please be fired for having this ridiculous idea of putting Christmas adverts out at the beginning of November? We now have near on two whole months of being reminded we’re supposed to be happy and, for those of us who dread the Holidays, now get two months’ worth of reminders.
I finally ventured out of the house on Monday for the first time in nearly two weeks and saw at least half a dozen houses who had their Christmas decorations up already. What? Are you mad? We’re not even out of November yet.
Don’t even get me started on the Christmas 24 Movie Channel! The saccharine sweet Hallmark movies that would send most people into a diabetic coma if you watched more than one. The ridiculously attractive lead characters, sometimes in the most ridiculous of predicaments (they’re supposed to be grown ups after all and clearly make some VERY bad decisions) and the sugary happy ending just in time for Christmas.
Bollocks.
There are those of us who really aren’t going to have a very happy Christmas at all. My chum’s Dad has just passed away so I’m sure she’d probably like to shove the Jingle Bells somewhere the sun doesn’t shine. My poor Mum has had a hell of a year, between my Gran passing, my Dad with his cancer diagnosis and needing his gall bladder removed and now me. In between all that, she’s had a cataract operation on her 70th Birthday!
I really don’t like Christmas any more. I can’t believe I’m talking about it again as it only seems like yesterday, I was talking about how I got through last year! Boxing Day is my Christmas Day. It’s when I’m with my niece and nephews and even though they are getting older, it’s still fun to see their faces when they open their presents. I get to spend time with my Mum and Dad but there will be no Gran this year.
You already know that I absentmindedly bought Gran a Christmas Card the other weekend that I had to take back. I keep a spreadsheet of the Christmas presents that I bought and one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do, is take her off that spreadsheet. Her main present and her Tree present. We have little presents on Boxing Day that we call Tree presents but now that we all get together on Boxing Day, they all seem to merge into one big present fest but we still separate out the Tree presents to open later on Boxing Day. I haven’t even removed Gran’s telephone number from my mobile phone or my home phone memories yet! I just can’t do it.
Mum insists on giving me a gift to “open on the day”. I don’t want to sit in my living room on Christmas Day, just me and the cat, opening a present without anybody else around. It’s just not right. It makes me feel very lonely. Jill has always said that I can take them to her house and open them when I’m at her house but that, to me, seems like an intrusion. I will be having Christmas Dinner at Jill’s again this year and then it’s off to Lowestoft on Boxing Day to see my clan.
So, how am I going to deal with the run up to Christmas? Well, firstly I won’t go near a shopping centre between now and Easter. I’ll order the Christmas presents online – end of. Tough. Whatever did I do before the internet? There will be no Christmas songs playing in my house – I shall stick to good old Def Leppard, Whitesnake (tweak the title of this post Whitesnake fans), Thunder and FM to get me through. Hey, they’ve got me through everything else so why change the habit of a lifetime now? Obviously, I shall partake of the boxes of Celebrations, Heroes and the ever decreasing size of a tin of Quality Street. It would just be rude not to. However, I will not be watching the Christmas Movie channels. My Christmas movie of choice will be Die Hard. It’s a classic, filled with brilliant one liners and the forever missed and adored Alan Rickman.
I have, however, treated myself to a little early Christmas present – the new Star Wars film is out on 19 December and at one minute past midnight, I shall be at the cinema to be one of the first to see it. That’ll probably give me something else to moan about!
Living The BPD Life 