Travelling….again

I’ve just got back from another holiday with the London Family. I have to say it was far better than last year. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed last year’s trip but this year’s trip made me realise that I am in a much better place than last year and I’m definitely better off not taking the Quetiapine! I knew that taking that medication was making me feel like a zombie but I really didn’t understand quite how much. Last year, I think I made breakfast four times during the whole holiday but this year, I made breakfast every single day and got the most out of the days in the sun and exploring.  Before last year’s trip, I’d also had the news about the insurance from my previous employer about to cease so I had started the process of claiming benefits (more about that in a future post) and I was incredibly worried about how I would cope financially.

Taking the Quetiapine not only left me feeling like a zombie but I slept a lot, I felt dizzy and weak and even when I was awake, I didn’t feel quite “with it”. It turns out that these are really common side effects of the medication. I decided to come off the medication (in consultation with my GP and psychiatrist) because I didn’t want to be that numb. Yes, I don’t want to feel the bad stuff but I wasn’t feeling anything so I decided that if I wanted to feel the good stuff, I had to take the fact that I would feel the bad stuff too and find another way of dealing with it.

That turned out to be one of my better decisions. The holiday with the London Family was just fantastic. I managed to keep everything under control and only had a couple of days where I absolutely could not contain the pain. I went out adventuring more this year. We pretty much did one day out and about exploring and the next day chilling by the pool. That worked really well for me this year. One day on and one day off. It wasn’t too exhausting and I knew that on the days when we were chilling by the pool, I could doze on the sun lounger and I didn’t really have to talk to anybody if I didn’t want to. At our peak, there was 14 of us out in Northern Cyprus this year but it did feel less stressful to get some time to myself.

I did isolate a little bit but it would be early morning or later at night. It gave me the chance to recharge my batteries and just to deal with the negative stuff so it gave the appearance that I was pretty much on top form at all times. I did chat with one of Jill’s sisters about this whilst we were away and she understood that, obviously, for the most part I was putting on a front so that isolating time was so very important to me just to not have to be “fine”.

When I was feeling low, I had a very good distraction whilst I was there. There were 3 absolutely gorgeous kittens (only about 5/6 weeks old) at the hotel who were friendly; very friendly! One morning, I spent two hours not being able to move because one of them was asleep in my arms, flat on her back with her head hanging over my elbow! Just the cutest little thing. Animals really are a healing tool for mental health issues and being devoted dog and cat lover anyway, I was in utter heaven. At any point during the holiday if I felt unsettled or tetchy as I call it, I’d just go and find a kitten to play with. They were more than happy to be fussed and played with. Well, it did give their poor Mum a break in that heat so she could have a snooze herself.

Oh and guess what? You remember from my post about trying on the holiday clothes I’d bought the paisley pattern trousers from Primark? Well, I wore them twice whilst I was out there. Definitely a good £7 punt and they got some lovely compliments from my fellow travellers.

The only real downside of the holiday was that on the second night there, I started to get the sore throat and tickly nose to warn me that a cold was coming. Oh, it came alright and it was an absolutely hum dinger! I’ve been home a few days and I’m still full of it. The Lemsip cold and flu max strength capsules are being taken religiously and I’m still blowing my nose like a fog horn! I’m in to the third week of it now and whilst it really is annoying the living whatsits out of me, I certainly didn’t let it get in the way of the holiday.

Now, just to deal with the 5 loads of washing and subsequent ironing mountain and dealing with the post-holiday blues slump that is bound to hit at some point. At least I have some very happy memories from the holiday and some positives about where I am with my mental health and my recovery on the whole.